Burn baby burn 🔥 (Shock and awe part 3)

I have started my 15 working days of radiation treatment so this post has a theme song by The Trammps https://youtu.be/A_sY2rjxq6M (more about this song later).

I have also had my first “just immunotherapy” infusion. I had a slightly upset tummy afterwards, and having checked Dr Google, that is a side effect of herceptin and perjeta. It did not stop me from having two breakfasts the next morning though - one before radiation treatment at 7am and one afterwards! I’m making up for all those days I did not feel like eating. I will need to rein in my Olympic eating shortly otherwise I will not fit all the internet shopping I have done since lockdown.

Yes your eyes did not deceive you - my first radiation appointment was at 7am. How inhumane is that? As an aside I was shocked at the Auckland traffic at 6:30am in level 3 lockdown. It was very busy and I was 2 minutes late. I haven’t been late for ages. The traffic opposite me on the motorway looked diabolical when I drove home at 8am.

As is the way over long weekends, I was plagued by “ailments of the day” over Labour weekend that necessitated calls to my oncologist on the Saturday and Sunday. On Saturday my left foot blew up and on Sunday I had a 5 cent sized lump on what I can best describe as my elbow crease (the arm pit equivalent of my elbow). Now I was more worried about the lump because all this kerfuffle started with the finding of a lump, but the medical professionals were very focused on the swollen foot. Why? Because a random swollen foot could be a blood clot in your leg. I didn’t think it was a blood clot but dutifully went off for an urgently arranged ultra sound when we reopened. I had no desire to visit the ED in the time of COVID and nor did my oncologist want me to either. So I spent most of the long weekend sitting with my foot up. It wasn’t a blood clot. I just had a random swollen foot. My elbow crease lump is a medical mystery. I persuaded the sonograper to wave his wand over the lump and it is not a tumour. It might be a ganglion but people don’t normally get ganglions in elbow creases. Then again, people don’t normally have one foot randomly swell up for no reason either!

My latest ailments are:

1. Lifting finger nails. It is a side effect of chemo and is gross (and sore). I have had to bandage up one of my fingers to prevent bumping the nail or worse still accidentally ripping it off.

2. Fluid retention. This is another side effect of chemo and I suspect the reason for my swollen left foot. I feel like a walking bag of water.

3. Running eyes and nose. This has been an ongoing issue for me. It is like my face is a leaking faucet, my eyes and nose will not stop dripping. Even the steroid eye drops don’t stop it now, but they reduce the swelling and the redness.

I shall not linger on the negatives. I simply record them for the sake of posterity. I have been very lucky (touch wood). I didn’t pick up any infections during chemotherapy. One woman I know, who was diagnosed the same week as me, has had two acute hospital admissions so far during her treatment. Nor was my treatment delayed due to being too weak or sick to have it. I think being a big, strong woman at the outset helped me. I will be her again soon.

On the bright side I still have my eyebrows, some eyelashes and about 60% hair coverage on my head. I don’t mind the cropped look but am excited for the bald patches, above my ears and on my crown, to regenerate.

Now that we have community transmission of COVID in Auckland I have to have a weekly negative COVID test in order to access treatment. It is fair to say that I have been subjected to many medical procedures this year but nothing quite compares to a stick up the nose that tickles your brain! I am surprised my nose goes that far back. Anyhow, I was greatly entertained by the Maori Warden under a golf umbrella marshalling traffic through the drive through testing station, twirling around lamp posts singing his rendition of “Singing in the Rain” and another warden practicing his Tik Tok dance moves to Ka Hao - 35 (feat Rob Ruha). Those lovely Maori Wardens at the Te Whanau o Waipareira testing station made something tiresome, fun - and I really appreciated it. Here is Ka Hao for you to enjoy too https://youtu.be/jEOydUQXfl8

I have had to have two blood tests every three weeks during chemo. This has now changed to one blood test every three weeks during immunotherapy. At my last blood test a man exited the building just ahead of me and was asked by his family how his blood test went. He replied “I’ve run out of blood so they had to tip me upside down”. That tickled me because his son believed him. That’s the sort of stuff my Dad said to me when I was a kid.

My lovely daughter turned 12 last week and for her birthday I got her a COVID shot. Not only was it a very thoughtful gift, it was also free. Rest assured she got some other gifts as well.

Radiation treatment is fascinating. It has to be very precise because a wrong move could result in a dose of radiation to your heart. Physicists do the calculations that are plugged into the radiation machine. A mould is taken of your torso and you are placed into it before each treatment, so you lie in exactly the same position on the table each time. The radiographers shout out numbers to each other and they manoeuvre you exactly into the correct position within millimetres. Oh, and I got my first tattoos at Auckland Radiation Oncology - three dots on my torso to help with positioning me on the table for treatment. Go me - bald and tattooed - cancer has made me Tough As!

The most epic bit of radiation treatment is the snorkel and nose peg. You need to be able to hold your breath for 20 seconds. They bring you in to practice this. I knew I could hold my breath for 20 seconds. I told them I could, but they did not believe me. I had to attend the training session. How did I know I could do it? I grew up with a swimming pool and I hold my breath doing core work. I know I’m not supposed to hold my breath doing core work but I often slip into bad habits and have not been able to completely train myself out of it. I breezed through the training. Hilariously though for the whole of the treatment they have you breathing through a snorkel and they cut off your air supply for 20 seconds at various times. You have a button that will release the air and cut off the radiation if you find yourself unable to hold on. The reason you need to take a deep chest breath is it changes your chest position and puts a buffer between your heart and the radiation.

I promised more about Disco Inferno. Many of you may not know that I trained to be an aerobics instructor in 1991 and Disco Inferno was one of my warm up tracks. It always makes me want to get up and grapevine. The training course in Dunedin was amazing. I did the course with one of my best friends and flat mate, Nicola. I made some new dear friends at that course, here’s looking at you Bernadette, Nikki, Bridgie and Tina. Can you believe we’ve known each other for 30 years? We still greet each other with the phrase “Love your sweatshirt”. This came about because one of our fellow classmates obsequiously greeted one of the instructors (who he clearly lusted over) with this line while looking deeply into his eyes and delicately fingering the fabric of the sweatshirt.

I did not instruct for long but I have had a long love affair with the gym. I’ve been weight training since I was 19 years old and doing classes since the 80s. I plan to start weight training again in my garage gym this week. My loss of strength has been shocking to me. I don’t feel like me. I feel vulnerable when I’m out walking and I’ve never felt that way before. I really miss training at Les Mills and I imagine it will be quite some time before I can go back. I am immunocompromised. I qualify for a third COVID shot 8 weeks after my second one. I accept I will need to shield until I have that shot. It won’t be until January 2022. Hopefully I will be able to hook up with my PT, Anouk, either by Zoom or outside, before then because I really miss her. She is amazing.

We live in peculiar times. The only doctor I have seen in person during lockdown is my oncologist, Sheridan. I have had telephone consults with my other medical specialists. I have not met my radiation oncologist, Maria, in person and may not during my treatment. I know many are tired of being locked down and it is really hard on business owners and people on their own. Remember that we are making this sacrifice to keep vulnerable people safe, to protect the health system and to prevent needless death. In the years to come I will look back on this time with some fondness because I am safe at home with the people (and cat) I love most. I know my parents are safe at home too. Kia kaha everyone. Keep safe and get vaccinated. Auckland is so close to the 90% goal.