Life is a song

Life is a song, it ends when it ends" - Taylor Swift, Opalite

As the mother of a 16 year old daughter I have listened to The Life of a Showgirl a lot. Every time I ferry my daughter anywhere in the car a lot. I would not choose to listen to that album over and over again - but having been held hostage to it - I am struck by the beauty of the language and imagery Taylor Swift uses.

“Buy the paint in the colour of your eyes and graffiti my whole damn life”

“And when anyone called me “Lovely”

They were finding ways not to praise me”

“Daisy’s bare naked, I was distraught

He loves me not, he loves me not”

“I pay the cheque before it kisses the mahogany grain

Said “They want to see you rise.

They don’t want you to reign”

I showed you all the tricks of the trade

All I ask for is your loyalty

My dear protege”

“The eldest daughter of a nobleman

Ophelia lived in fantasy

Her love was a cold bed full of scorpions

The venom stole her sanity”

“I have been afflicted by a terminal uniqueness

I've been dying just from trying to seem cool”

As someone who loves writing I appreciate her skill. I see you can actually study Taylor Swift at University over a diverse range of subjects - communications, marketing, music, literature, song writing, economics, business and media, digital, gender and cultural studies. There is something called the Swiftposium - an academic conference dedicated to the studies of Swift.

Anyway, I digress. I have not done much reading or writing lately. I have been busy. I have been thinking. I have been sad. I have been processing. And in the background The Life of a Showgirl has been playing on repeat. Someone I love has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. I have written a lot about fighting and surviving cancer and now I bear witness to someone living alongside it.

I spent time in the treatment room with people living with cancer. Some of them were very wise and lived with intention, dignity and clarity. Someone who did that in the public eye was Nigel Latta. Nigel lived. He wasn’t dying. He was living - until he wasn’t.

Nigel Latta’s philosophy, in his work and life, was about engagement. He paid attention. He focused on what helped. He let go of what didn’t. His illness didn’t change that - it brought what mattered into sharp focus for him. His time became valuable and he wanted to spend it with the people he loved.

People are not defined by their illness or prognosis. They are defined by how they live and how they show up for themselves, their whānau, for conversations that matter, for moments that bring joy and meaning.

There is grief of course, for futures that won’t unfold as planned, for milestones that may not be reached - but there is also clarity. A deep sense of what matters right now. Who matters. And the narrowing of focus can be profound because actually we are all dying - and we can all choose to live until we aren’t any more.

Nigel Latta was never defined by dying. He was defined by living - fully, present, thoughtful, curious, engaged - right until the end. He lived well, with dignity and love.

Life is a song. It ends when it ends. And while it is playing, all we can do is keep listening, dancing, singing, loving, and living.