Lightening strikes, maybe once, maybe twice

The title of this post comes from one of my favourite songs, Gypsy, by Fleetwood Mac.

The "gypsy" is the free and fearless side of our personality. It is a song about youth and simpler times. As I get older I often find myself reflecting on my carefree late teens and 20s and being amazed at my fearlessness and confidence. It was a time dominated by my friendships - and my friends then, are still my friends now. We know each others' gypsy.

The added layer to the song Gypsy is it became a tribute to Stevie Nick's friend, Robin, who died of leukaemia. There are some poignant lines in the song including the line that is the title of this post - if we are very lucky we will have one or two close friends in our lives - lightening strikes, maybe once, maybe twice. Soul mates.

I am blessed to have more than one or two very close friends. A few live in different countries, some in different New Zealand towns and cities - I've collected them throughout my life. I don't see them as much as I would like to, but it is always a joy when I do.

The wonderful thing about friendship is the shared history and memories. Your friends truly know and accept you - they tease you about your idiosyncrasies - but they don't want to change you. Being with them is like being in a safe, warm hug.

Having friends is very important if you practice law. The law is a strange, brutal, hierarchical profession where you not only pit your wits against other lawyers in an adversarial system, but in many a toxic law firm, you are made to compete against your own workmates. During my career I have witnessed some savage power struggles and some really toxic workplace behaviour. I do not want that in any workplace I lead and it took a long time to weed it out. I think I am blessed to be in business with some of the kindest people I know. When I heard this graduation speech from Illinois Governor J B Pritzer, I instantly thought of my business partner. Do not mistake kindness for weakness though. You underestimate kind, clever people at your peril.

My gypsy left home at 17 and went to University in Dunedin with one of my best friends from school. Another best friend from school joined us at Uni the following year. I met two other close friends/soul mates at Uni and we flatted together at 1008 George Street. They both live in the United States now.

My gypsy moved to Whangarei for work at 22 knowing no one, but joined by a profs mate shortly afterwards. I made friends for life while I was living "up north". I left for the UK alone at 25, knowing only one person there, a process server we used at work. I dossed in his lounge. My late teens and 20s were amazing. Early adulting was awesome. It was scary and exciting. There was hedonism and heartbreak. There were mistakes and bad decisions. There was drinking, dancing, dalliances and a lot of long hours and hard work. And there was love - the love of my good friends. My lucky lightening strikes. My soul mates.